Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
