I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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