i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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