i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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