Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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