what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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