you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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