I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
