did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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