I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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