I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
