you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
