You made me cry and you don't even care
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
