whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
