i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
