dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
