Have you finally orgasmed yet?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Couch. On fire.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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