i just identified you from a description of your pipe
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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