I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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