Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
where are my eyebrows?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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