Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
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