Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize