My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
