he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
