I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
