Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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