im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
