Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
