i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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