If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros, bitch!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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