The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
