so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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