what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
