Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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