Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
