I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
now i know why i became what i already was.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
