i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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