Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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