like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
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I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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