hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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