Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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