Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize