Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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