the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
