okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
