so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
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All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
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There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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