we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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