I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize