I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize