There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
