areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
