"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
