It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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