i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
