I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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