Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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