The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
