LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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